A Capriccio[ 3[ Original ]

I love Ba Jin. Since when, I can’t remember. When did I once, especially when I wanted to write something, I encouraged myself to recall it, but the time was so adamant to people that it was a good thing to say that I could remember it, but it happened that the problem was that I didn’t know when my memory was swallowed up by time and I didn’t know how long I knew Ba Jin.. Now I think like this. If I recall one day, I will certainly take some time to record it. Although my writing is boring, it is at least my personal thing, and I will not abandon it in the wilderness..   I like Ba Jin, like other writers, I came out of science in high school, but I seem to have had a dream of reading liberal arts in my mind since junior high school. I have such a dream because I was still in a period of ignorance and I came across some literary works by chance. At that time, although I couldn’t read those profound, mysterious and philosophical things, I just thought they were really interesting. I was born of the small fun I got from the text.. This dream has always been buried in my personal heart, but to my surprise, this writer’s dream is different from the one before. The reason is that I am not willing to talk about it. Wait till later. If I have the chance, I will write another article to explain it..   With my dream of becoming a writer, I listened to the advice of our teacher in charge in high school and let me stay in this class and continue to study science.. At that time, I was quite obedient and never dared to behave in such a way as to violate any school rules and regulations.. As far as the time was concerned, because it was a senior year, it was the first time for students to enter school and they were not familiar with the environment in other places, so the curious heart had to be temporarily put away and put all its thoughts into study.. Although I am not a ” three good students”, my academic achievements at that time were still highly valued, and with my taciturn temperament at ordinary times, the teacher decided that I would go on the road to science in the future.. Do the world know? It is extremely inappropriate to judge a person’s future choice and way out from his apparent behavior, which belittles others and elevates his own identity as well.. Don’t look at me at ordinary times for not talking and lacking the ability to talk, but it is because of my silence that I have my own hobby, falling in love with reading and liking literature.. But the things behind it are funny enough to make people laugh and cry. That is, I have always wanted to choose to read liberal arts in my heart, but it happened that my thoughts were tangled up in confusion and could not be solved. I gave my choice to the teacher as a matter of urgency and let me read science quietly.. Speaking of this matter, everyone’s first impression is that I am not. Nothing is impossible. All the right to choose is in one’s own hands. At last, I regret to find a lot of reasons and fabricate a set of lies to justify my crimes. This is not an obvious way to throw a stone at one’s own feet..   If you reply to me like this, I will have no word but to bear the sin I have done by myself silently, which may be a good ending for me to all of you.. I’m speaking these words in detail now, in order to make my life easier and reveal some unhappiness in my heart, so as not to spread sadness all day and make it impossible to live a happy life..   Speaking, for no reason, I will be full of nonsense and useless things. Now I have forgotten the original intention of writing this article.. However, all these words are my natural expression. Even in my daily life, these words are not easy for me to talk to people. Unless I am friends who know each other quite well, I will occasionally talk about them between tea and dinner. Most of the time, I always keep them in my heart and remember them by myself.. Later days, when the trivia was so traumatic, I gradually called my heart and poured out the contents on the paper, hoping to meet three or two decree by destiny people to solve my heart’s worries and be satisfied with me..   I don’t have any cultural self – restraint, nor are I a celebrity. I don’t have much money for writing articles. Even now I don’t have a clear idea and theme for writing these articles, so I have to borrow a name from Mr. Ba Jin with a thick face, which is the ” Capriccio” at the beginning of the article.. Under the guise of everyone’s brand, I write my thoughts in my heart. I don’t think it’s a crime to kill the head..   Now, it’s only temporary. I also said something I should say, but I still can’t figure out what I want to say. I probably think more about it myself. I remember reading a sentence before and writing it well. I also remember it very clearly. It says: ” Some things, I think more about headaches, and I think about love dearly.”. This is what I look like. I am full of curiosity and fear for life, and even fear and fear sometimes..